Spell Book

I watched what I wanted fade away with time
I watched what I had take it all away
Should I have been glad and said, “This life is good, I am content.”
But I can’t, this life is mine to pave
I reminisced on what could have been
behind my sin
and these recollections fed my sadness,
my disease, this madness
and I dreamt and it was not sadness
but dreams that haunt me now
like hounds they run me down
So much need!
Why stalk me
my substance cannot feed
I close my eyes, taking away everything but now
where what I have leaves me content
What I do satisfies
Who I meet listens
Who I love knows
When I am happy I laugh
When I am sad I cry
Where I am is beautiful
Where I am going will be good
Why I am here is to see everything
Why I am here is to live
And while living I do not fear my death
Death will come and I will die
and this emotion of life
my cauldron of magic…